DBA

T-SQL Tuesday #122: Being authentic

This month’s T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Jon Shaulis – the topic is an evergreen one, dealing with Imposter Syndrome. I learned of this word via Mindy Curnett a.k.a @sqlgirl in one of her presentations. I was aware of it in a different way for a long time. Trauma victims know what it is better than most others. To deal with trauma, especially as a kid, one learns to dis associate or pretend it is happening to somebody else. It is a form of survival since you don’t have the necessary skills to deal with it as a child. Entire fantasies can form around such disassociation, many people do not recover from it. I knew I had it because I was given to frequent day dreaming as an adult. I was rarely present in the moment and always carried a perpetual sense of loss about me. In essence dealing with Imposter Syndrome is about being in the present and feeling life as it happens. Below are my strategies.
1 Mindfulness practice – breathing and meditation.
2 Using present tense as often as i can in conversation – this is an excellent tip I got from somewhere. If other tenses are needed use them and consciously return to the present.
3 Keeping track of when I disconnect/wander off – typically triggers that cause this.
4 Find moments when I am in the moment – and try to make more of these happen. I was surprised to see how trivial some of these ‘moments’ where – I remember them because I was fully prsent in body and mind when it happened.
5 Read and get more tips whenever possible. I read an excellent book on this recently. It is called ‘Presence: Bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges‘ by Amy cuddy. The author went through a traumatic accident and describes her process of recovery and finding her sense of connection/meaning/authenticity through it. Her tips include posture (she has diagrams on how to develop good posture), Surfing,smiling and singing to ourselves, and giving ourselves tiny nudges of encouragement constantly.

Every person wants to be seen for who they are .Being authentic and present is the biggest gift we can give ourselves to handle imposter syndrome. Thank you Jon, for hosting.

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